First things first, I’m the illest
"Are you the SAT because I’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a 10 minute break halfway through for snacks, and then I can stare at you for like 10 minutes and think ‘wow, I hope I don’t ruin this.’"
- Dude on OKC with the best pick up lines I have ever heard (via katamarang)
Sometimes when I say “I’m okay”, what I really want is for someone to hold my hand, look me in the eyes and say “I know that you’re not okay, here is $1000.00”.
(Source: kittiezandtittiez, via guy)
posts that are only funny because of the fucked up comments part 1
"I love sleeping to avoid problems."
- Matthew Healy, The 1975. (via belongtoyous)
(Source: he4rt-out, via a-leeus)